3/19-IELTS Writing Task 2-Peggy

The debate over whether to(ones) seek a work-life balance or accept long hours for career advancement is ongoing. While some argue that long hours of work are the only way to success in career achievement, other people believe that people should focus not only on their work but also invest attention and time in(on) their lives, which is the winner’s ideal goal. From my perspective, I firmly favor the former, and I will deliberate on the reasons below.

One of the primary reasons why work-life balance is crucial for success is its positive influence on productivity. Studies have shown that employees who have adequate rest and time for personal activities perform better at work. For instance, European countries like Denmark, which emphasize shorter working hours and encourage people to spend more quality time in their own lives, consistently secure the leading ranking among the most productive nations. Moreover, overworking often leads to burnout, depression, and lower efficiency. Because(, because) individuals might not (have the opportunity to) recharge their energy and release stress, it causes(resulting in) negative impacts on both the physical and mental health of humans. Ultimately, it would weaken their contributors(contribution) and professional success in the long term.

Another reason is that maintaining a work-life balance is beneficial for developing a well-rounded lifestyle, especially in the physical and mental health aspects. This way could prevent people from struggling with high stress, anxiety, and other health issues like brain stroke or heart disease. A balanced lifestyle also allows individuals to enrich different experiences, spend quality time with loves, and engage in regular exercises or good habits. According to a survey conducted by National Taiwan University, over 75% of participants indicated that flexible work-life schedules(balance) give a sense of security and achieve a successful life.(Personal experience)

In conclusion, while working long hours may seem beneficial for career advancement, it often results in deteriorated productivity and health problems. On the other hand, a well-balanced life fosters efficiency, positive influences, and long-term success. Therefore, I undoubtedly believe that work-life balance is the first priority for everyone’s life, enriching both their professional and personal growth.

在〈3/19-IELTS Writing Task 2-Peggy〉中有 2 則留言

  1. 1. 我覺得這篇體現你的弱處: “用字不恰當”、”文法錯誤”

    2. 用字不恰當-
    it would weaken their “contributors”,應使用contribution,這種用錯字很容易造成作文分數不上不下
    work-life “schedules”,應使用balance,這裡看得出來你想換字,但弄巧成拙,還是繼續沿用”work-life balance” 比較好

    3.文法錯誤–
    because的用法,不管你這邊是打字錯誤還是沒看清楚,這種失分就很可惜,會造成整篇作文分數不太好,因為這是比較低級錯誤,所以建議都要檢查

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