The chart illustrates that five coffee-exported countries in the world have different changes in trade volume between 2018 and 2023. From an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that the majority of exported among countries are Brazil, Vietnam, and Colombia through the given years.
First of all, the ranking of coffee exporters among given countries is constant. In particular, Brazil experienced an extraordinary increase in coffee exports, reaching 3 million kg in 2023(by 0.5 million kilogram), which led(leading) Brazil to remain in first place among coffee exporters. Meanwhile, Vietnam and Ethiopia also showed a remarkable improvement in their exports. They(Both parties) all increased(skyrocketed) by 0.4 million kg during the given years. Even though Ethiopia had this upward growth, it still did not surpass Colombia and became a third-leading country.
Conversely, Indonesia demonstrated the least growth in coffee exported amounts, which merely increased(grew) by 0.1 million kg. Its trade volume had the greatest gaps with Brazil, approximately 5 times.(In both 2018 and 2018, its export figure is approximately five times smaller than Brazil’s) Obviously, Indonesia still stood at a small minority of coffee exports all the time.
In conclusion, although every country experiences a slight increase in coffee exports, it still makes them stand in the same place. Even the leading country, Brazil, has expanded its leads for a long time. This consequence of increased coffee exports also reveals that the coffee industry is still glooming in 2023.
更改顏色:
紅色: 用字錯誤、冗言贅字
橘色: 文法錯誤
紫色: 邏輯錯誤
藍色: 補述說明
1. 整體內容豐富，舉例恰當。而且你選擇專攻寫”幅度這件事”，我覺得風險蠻高，但你寫得蠻好的
2. 數據題不外乎就是將你看到的數據寫出來給讀者看，我還是建議你除了寫”幅度”，可以多寫一些單純的數字(請看留言的範文，直接寫2023巴西出口多少這樣等)
3. “increase”雖然是最直觀的單字，但應該是還可以想到別的
4. “Its trade volume had the greatest gaps with Brazil, approximately 5 times.” 這句有點中式英文，我有幫你改了
5. conclusion那段我覺得寫得不太好-
“although every country experiences a slight increase in coffee exports, it still makes them stand in the same place.” 直翻是”雖然每個國家的咖啡出口量上升，但每個東西(it)讓(make)他們的排名一致” 什麼東西讓他們排名一致？從數據完全看不出來
The bar chart illustrates the amount of coffee exported by the top five coffee-producing countries—Brazil, Vietnam, Colombia, Ethiopia, and Indonesia—in 2018 and 2023. The figures are measured in millions of kilograms.
Overall, all five countries experienced an increase in coffee exports over the five-year period, with Brazil remaining the largest exporter by a significant margin. In 2018, Brazil exported 2.5 million kilograms of coffee, the highest among all the countries, and this figure rose to 3.0 million kilograms in 2023. Vietnam, the second-largest exporter, also saw a notable increase from 1.8 million kilograms in 2018 to 2.2 million kilograms in 2023.
Colombia and Ethiopia demonstrated more moderate growth. Coffee exports in Colombia increased from 1.2 million kilograms to 1.5 million kilograms, while Ethiopia’s exports rose from 0.8 million kilograms to 1.2 million kilograms during the same period. By contrast, Indonesia had the smallest volume of exports in both years, increasing only slightly from 0.6 million kilograms in 2018 to 0.7 million kilograms in 2023.
In summary, Brazil and Vietnam continued to dominate global coffee exports, while Ethiopia experienced the most significant relative growth among the smaller exporters.