1/16-IELTS Writing Task 2-eric

老師最後編輯時間：1/16 17:00

More and more people start(started) to discuss the issue that social media influencers have a positive or a negative impact on society. In my opinion, I agree with the idea that social media influencers have a positive impact(promising influence) on society due to their entertainment value and the knowledge they can provide(the provided knowledge). This essay will discuss my reasons for this stance and provide examples to support my opinion, leading to a reasoned conclusion.

 

First, one of the main reasons why I agree(believe) social media influencers have a positive impact(effect) on society is because of  the entertainment they provide. For instance, there are different kinds of influencers on YouTube, and they can produce a variety of videos for their followers. Audiences can discover creators who resonate with them, allowing them to entertain (object) and unwind (object).(Audiences are able to find creators who resonate with them, enabling them to relax and enjoy entertainment.) Taking(Take) myself as an example, when I hang out with my friends all day, I need to take a break to refill my social energy. I will watch an influencer called LadyFlavor who creates videos about their daily life. By watching their videos, I can relax(relieve) from the fatigue of the whole day and maintain a happy mood.

 

Moreover, it dawned on me that social media influencers are beneficial when I consider we can absorb knowledge from them. Take my brother for(as) example, he wants to study in Japan, (and) the social media influencers are without borders (.) He chooses the japanese influencers on social media, to learn the local language, culture, and humanities, as well as to understand the local lifestyle.(to learn the local language, culture, humanities and lifestyle) In addition, there are more and more(a growing amount of) educational influencers on social media, it is not very  hard to find an influencer who suits  your learning area.

 

(Moreover, it dawned on me that social media influencers are beneficial when I consider we can absorb knowledge from them. Take my brother, for example—he aspires to study in Japan. Since social media influencers transcend borders, he follows Japanese influencers to learn the language, culture, and humanities, as well as to understand the local lifestyle. Additionally, there is a growing number of educational influencers on social media, making it easier to find someone who aligns with(corresponds to) your specific learning interests. Whether it’s language, science, or personal development, there’s likely an influencer who can help guide your learning journey.)

 

In conclusion, although there are differing(different) opinions on social media influencers. I believe that there are definitely some upsides of social media influencers having a positive impact on society based on the reasons discussed above. The evidence and examples provided their ability to entertain and the knowledge they share to the viewers are positively impactful .

更改顏色:

 

用字錯誤、冗言贅字

 

切換不同的字

 

文法錯誤

 

邏輯錯誤 

讚讚:

整體內容豐富、舉例恰當

有看得出來你有用一些課堂上教過的單字、片語

弱弱:

–內容

1. 第三段是最大的敗筆喔！！(理由很薄弱、感覺掰不下去、文法錯誤）

2. supporting paragraph盡量字數一致(Paragraph2:117、Paragraph3:88)

 

–文法

1. 有蠻多文法錯誤(缺乏連接詞、句型結構不完整等)

2. 看不到更多句型(IF、分詞構句、not only, but also)

 

–字彙

1. 重複性太高(entertain: 5次、positive: 6次..)

2. 有些用法錯誤、不常見(differing opinion..)